On my birthday today, I celebrate two major successes and the life of a wonderful man. Let me start with the successes. One, I've long ago realized that others' perceptions of my own reality isn't ever really going to be flawless so I just need to be my own person not worry about who thinks what of me. And this is what I chose to be, my own person. Keep in mind that justice isn't served from behind blinded eyes or corrupted minds. When challenge comes, as Martin L. King. Jr. stated above, you must face it. This is where your life will be tested. Many of you do not know me, personally. One thing about me that I will get soul naked here before you and divulge is that I hate debt. I want more than anything else in my life to be debt free. I find debt utterly disgusting. So, today, I celebrate being credit card debt free. Getting to the financial goals I have is critical for me because for one, I hate debt, and, second, I am entirely dependable on me. I don't want to ever depend on anyone else. I want and will be my own person, on my own feet. Though I am not where I want to be just yet, financially, I am proud to be able to tell others I do not have and will not have credit card debt. And, yes, I did it alone. I have a lot to say about this topic. In fact, I am writing a book right now about... many things important, yes... One of the topics I touch on is related to money and societal dogmas. More on this to come later. Bottom line is I learned that in a time of challenge and controversy, you will prove it to YOURSELF who you are.
Two, I went to the mall and built my first Build-A-Bear teddy whom I named "Hawgee" after the Hogwarts school of wizardry because, well, it's something I always wanted to do and it just happens I do love the Harry Potter fantasy novels. Being that I have no children of my own, I never had a "good" excuse to visit the Build-A-Bear shop. Apprehensive I'd look "too old" I hesitated but then I decided why in the world would I let that stand in my way. The reason why this addition to my teddy-bear collection is important to me is because someday I plan to make a teddy-bear donation to an orphanage of my choice. There is a lot I could say about what it means to be alone in the world, to feel alone even when you technically aren't. I will talk more about this in my next book, a work in progress. But, I do have to say that my mission to someday donate my teddy-bear collection to an orphanage stems from a desire to make others who are in desperate need happy. I get so much joy when others around me feel joy and happiness. The spiritual vitality I feel when this happens is invaluable to me. Thus, teddy bear "Hawgee" will someday find home in the arms of a child with a need, the need being love. One of the reasons why I never had kids it's not because I am selfish as someone once said to me. It is because I see the world as is, I feel the helpless souls who need love as howling, lone wolves in the world. I can feel their cry to my very core, my bones can feel the dreadful ache of children's suffering because I lived it.
On my birthday, I pause to honor the name of Sir. Martin Luther King Jr. whose life was such an inspiration to so many including myself. Sir. Martin Luther King Jr. believed that only light can drive out darkness and I share in that mission. No matter what you face today, keep moving forward like Martin Luther King Jr. said. Move forward with hope inside of you, fearlessly facing the day of tomorrow. No, you don't have to take anyone's advice. You don't even have to read this. You are reading because somewhere within you, you know there is value in what you read. Always measure value. Thus, here you are, reading. Whatever you do, your choice is yours. Just make sure someday you don't look back and feel regret. Avoid regret by flying, running, walking, crawling, whatever you do, living in a way in which you are content with the consequences of your actions. Yes, they are very real indeed. The ultimate measure of your life is in you. Yes, it is in you. Not ever external of you.
You are reading because somewhere within you, you know there is value in what you read. Always measure value.
Carmen A. Cisnadean
Author. Artist. Poetess.
I share with passion and love with you because I can and desire to not just because I have talent. I hope my diary entries will bring your life a blessing that cannot ever be measured by societal brouhaha. This is my birthday gift to you and my promise to humanity as citizen of this frail world. I don't do it for money. I do this for free. I have yearly website dues to pay and I never ask for a subscription fee and never will. I'd take down the website before I would charge people for a subscription fee. If you want to support my mission, buy my books and give them as gifts to young minds who are desperate for hope and love. This is my way of giving back to the community of the world I love. Thus, I warmly invite you to browse over the pages of my website. I thank you for reading and wish you on my special day much happiness, now and always.