Christmas is in the heart of those who are left behind, the so called "the living," who can still feel in their hearts the bubbly feelings of joy of life and hope for tomorrow. But, what about those long gone, those who left us? Do we remember them in a positive light? Why? Why not? Is there some grudge, pain, or hatred we hold onto that we shouldn't? What holds us back from cherishing family at times, if it does, and how can we overcome that? Do we hold back truly because we cannot forgive the other person? Or is it more that we cannot forgive ourselves and, therefore, we project outwardly out of self-centeredness? What gets in the way of forgiving? Well, hopefully you don't need to forgive anyone this holiday season. But, if you are human, there is a chance that you more than likely do. It may not even be a family member. It might be a friend whom once you regarded as family. Before I tell the real story of the once two sisters which I have been privileged to know personally, Ana and Elizabeth, I will state that there is no perfect family that walked on planet Earth. We wish to think of our family as perfect but there is no such thing. Life isn't perfect and people aren't perfect either; therefore, there's no perfect family. We have to recognize, with humility, that humans are not capable of perfection only of the aim to become perfect, to near perfection someday. At the very best, those who continuously work on such a goal will near not perfection, but what I like to call the reality of the perfectly-imperfect "Homo sapiens" aka "wise humans."
Once upon a time, there were two beautiful sisters named Ana and Elizabeth. My grandma Ana, whom I loved very much, was my mother's mom. Many years before I was born, Ana and her sister Elizabeth got very upset with each other. For many years, they held onto a bitterness which was not healthy for either of them. They would not even say "hi" to one another, when bypassing each other on the streets. I'm sure there was a legitimate reason for it. I've never asked why because it wasn't considered appropriate to get involved in others' problems and I was also very little, at the time. One day, Ana's sister got old and ill. My grandma Ana felt sorry that their relationship became fractured and decided that it was time to make peace. How do I know all this? Well, because I was there. I was the child whom my grandma Ana took with her to visit her sister, after many years of them not speaking to one another. I vividly recall the knock on Elizabeth's door, how it resounded within me. It was a bit scary, to be honest. How was Elizabeth going to react, seeing her sister Ana at her door, was a question that nearly terrified me. How was she going to react toward me, her sister's granddaughter, fell also on my mind. I was a young teen but mature. I knew this day would leave a mark on my life; thus, I tried to prepare mentally for it. I still remember it as if it was just yesterday. Grandma's sister Elizabeth had problems walking around the home. Despite so, she invited us in with a cordial kind of welcome. We, all three, held hands and cried that day. There were many tears shed, between the words spoken by the sisters. I was mostly silent, observing what no experience, up to this point in my life, could have adequately prepared me for. I recollect hearing my grandma Ana telling her sister "I forgive you" and Elizabeth responding with "I am so glad that you do," both with remorse reflected in their eyes. I realized, then and there, that the power of love was greater than I've ever imagined possible. I was only sad because I wished this moment would have happened years earlier. I loved seeing the power of love win before my eyes and believe me it was huge for me, to sit back and watch this example of forgiving, letting go, and giving of that which we all so desperately need, love. After that day, my grandma visited her sister Elizabeth frequently. Until her sister's passing, Ana cared for her, cooked for her, watched over her, and even thanked her for giving her the opportunity to make peace before they were both going to die. I met my grandma's sister at a crucial time in the history of their relationship. Today, I honor both of them, with this posting. Every Christmas, I take out these photos that you see here and I look at them fondly. I choose not to remember the bad but to focus on the good that was there. It is thanks to this choice, why I'm able to share this story with you.
If you get nothing out of this short reading, please get this little bit out of it: family is complicated. We've all wronged in one way or another someone we've loved, someone who maybe once upon a time we relied on when we had nobody else. If your loved one is still here and you have any dispute to resolve, try to do it before it's too late. If your loved one is gone, know that they look down upon you every day hoping to just hear "I love you" and "I forgive you" and that is often plenty enough even for the dead. You don't have to get into the details, forget that. Just love and forgive. In return, you'll gain something priceless that no money can buy, that's inner peace. And what is Christmas without inner peace? Well, it's just not as great as it could be, most definitely not. Be inspired to forgive and forget. And if you cannot forget, then at least by forgiving someone who has wronged you at some point, you give yourself a certain kind of freedom and replace the pain with peace. This holiday season, I wish you peace no matter who or if you have to forgive. If you have nobody to forgive, good for you. Then, maybe you can share this post with someone you know who does. But if let's say there is someone you can forgive, let me assure you that if you can give him or her the gift of all gifts, this holiday, forgiveness is the best of all gifts. And if you don't do it for them, do it for you, so you can live with optimal peace during this special time.
